Putting the TROLL in Trolley. . .

Alright. . . Mikey gave me an assignment. . . and here it is. . . I spent quite a bit of time on the ESPN forum during todays game. . . and let me say. . . it was NASTY. . .

Not only were tempers flaring due to the troll activity, but a poor fan of the female persuasion was made an unwanted subject of and THAT boiled over.  I don’t know if the moon was waxing, waning, is full, new, a harvest moon, moon unit zappa. . . but there was some lunacy going on today. . . everyone was FEISTY!  Needless to say, the Cubs got shellacked like a canoe and I did call the Jason Marquis meltdown, thank you very much.  On top of that, the lovely troll conch sounded and in on the TROLLey strolled some trolls from other boards, ripe with stale predictions and lame comebacks much like Andrew Dice Clay.  Here they are, the Top 5 Troll calls of the day. . .

Before we get to the countdown, I just wanted to add something that a couple other guys in the chat fed off of after I said it. . . this was coined probably after Gaudin gave up a 3 run homer to put the Nats ahead 12-5

*Perks ear up* I think I heard the troll call conch getting blown. . . it’s quite loud. . . everyone, grab your sharpened wits and prepare for battle. . .

And now, we get to the countdown!

Numero Uno:

Every Cub fan I have ever met says “we” a lot when they refer to the team. Nobody that I can remember has ever said “WE” suck again this year, or “WE” will probably just have some hope then blow it at the end of the season, or “WE” are not a very complete team, or “WE” have a pitching staff that is almost always shorthanded because of injury…Maybe they should actually put some of you optimists on the payroll and they might have a chance at winning a championship sometime in the 21st century…
Funny he should mention that, WE sucked with Dusty Baker near the end of ’04 up until his firing.  This is coming from a Nationals fan by the way, more power to him, this isn’t a troll call as I made it out to be.
Numero Dos:
Cubs WS2008 (2 minutes ago) Report Violation Maybe the Cubs should look at what the team on other side of town does when they play a bad team!! They beat the #### out of Seattle!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Coming from a Cubs fan? You’ve got to be shitting me!  This guy isn’t really a troll, but Jesus H. Chrysler, lighten the fuck up!
Numero Tres:
*Troll Alert* Cublet fans will look back at this game and say “thats where it all went wrong” 101!
*Troll Alert* i just don’t know how a team that holds itself up so high can recover from such a embarrassing defeat… this is where they’ll say it all went wrong…
This is coming from a Brewers fan.  I think they really have no leg to stand on considering in the MIlwaukee Brewer history, they’ve only been to one WS title, had their first winning season in 16 years, and were owned and anally raped by the Selig family.
Numero Quatro:


This reminds me of one of those guys who tried their hand at rap and were mercilessly booed, harangued, tortured and beaten.  That or it can be misconstrued as a Punk song. . . just missing the “Oi oi oi!” vibe. . . nice try, Postie, sit on it!

And the Big winner of the day is!

I have to say that as much as Cubs “fans” are enjoying this season, Sox fans are enjoying it even more. You people are hilarious. Do you actually believe that anything’s changed? You are not going to win. Ever. Every year it gets even funnier to see the pictures in the paper of some loser crying in the trash strewn bleachers. Keep it up, “fans”. Don’t stop believing. Oh wait, that’s reserved for the winning team. Go Sox. Again.

I’m with you. But I have to try to explain why some Sox fans have such a boulder on their shoulder. The media in this town is in a nonstop slobber fest over those lovable cubbies (gag). The media bias is extreme. Even Cub “fans” have to see this. And it leads to the national media acting as though there’s only one team here. Look, some of my best friends are cub “fans”. LOL. It’s just hard sometimes being bombarded with cubbie (gag) imagery while my Sox only get the back page of the sun-times when the cubs lose. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is. Let’s not overlook the racial and financial biases inherent in this rivalry, as well. To deny this is silly. Anyone in this city, Sox or cubbie(gag), can see this.

I saw a little bit of his point until I saw “Media Bias”.  This makes some sense, but I feel that if Haray Caray never left the South Side (for a reason I would like to know, seriously) that maybe the Cubs don’t become as big of the media horse they are today.  Think about it.  The Tribune Co. OWNS the Cubs, and has owned them for awhile now.  That’s one big plus there, if you have a fucking complaint, maybe you should take it up with them.

There you have it.  Those are the golden nuggets I have pulled forth from the wreckage of today’s debacle vs. the Nats, but I want to point something out that I was talking to a co-worker about earlier.  I would rather drop a turd in the punchbowl vs. the worst team in the league, rather than get my ass handed to me by a rival.  Especially in late September, when you’re fighting for the division title.  Games like these are easy to forget because the Cubs are obviously overlooking this team and are gearing up for bigger and better things.  I’m pretty sure if the Cubs handily defeat the Nats tomorrow, the Trolley will board, but not a lot of Trolls will be aboard it.  This is The Cube, whom gives props to EnochDawg, Mikeatham34 and Cubs4life93 for keeping the humor in the room today amisdt the power turds.  If you guys ever get banned, you know where to turn!

Out and about,

The Cube.



6 Responses to Putting the TROLL in Trolley. . .

  1. boze says:

    great troll call cube………HEY MIKEY,look who is back from the dead,i know i had told you i was sick but i didnt realize how sick i was about to get,ended up with pnemonia and in the hospital for over a week,i told mu fucking wife to contact twice ,and i just found out tonight she did’nt so sorry,hope u didnt think i bailed………….im fine now..well still a bit clogged up and on all kinds of antibiotics,go figure pnemonia in the fucking summer…….i been watching the cubs games in the hospital,the fuckers wouldnt let me have any pda’s in there otherwise i woulda contacted you,well mb,i was pretty fucking sick……….anyhow…………..

  2. mikeychx says:


    my nigga

    i know u need your time from time to time…and i always know what ever you neeed to do you always sort your own shit out…..glad u are well…lets actually TALK tomorrow

    the cubs staff was due fora letdown…you had to know this…second half has been way to solid to not see something like this coming….

    love the cube…love the bo….wish we could get the masses over here, because esn is just a little toorestrictive these days

    talk to u dudes tomo

  3. mikeychx says:

    and btw cube…yeah i agree

    get your ass handed to you by the nats


    get your ass handed to you by the reds….

    well they are only 21.5 back

    but by the brewers, the cardinals….yeah….suck ass city

  4. TheWiscomCube says:

    I did that all in a hurry last night. . . there were things I might have left out, but I don’t want to edit the post. I have to add, that it’s funny when the Brewer regulars hanging around the forums start to rip their own trolls. . . that makes me smile. . .

  5. boze says:

    ok mikey call my cell anytime today,if i dont answer leave me a number and i will call u right back.

  6. boze says:

    well my cell has caller id so………….

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